Lesson 2 – Food Tech

“I hate this…not being funny, but why does she has to stop us after every five minutes? Its not like we’re making a banquet” Sighing, despite liking the lesson, Keely punched the lump of dough at her fists weakly, her energy for the day zapped due to the appearance of the, now, three Akatsuki members.
“Health and safety probably” Qira, her scones already made, slipped them into the oven before laughing at the large clump of dough that was Keely’s. “Please tell me that’s your second batch” Keely blinked at her friend, realising that she had fifteen minutes to fully finish making the scones, and put them in the oven, and cook them.
“Oh…”
“Wake up” Grabbing some of her friend’s dough, Qira was quick to work with it, leaving Keely to do the rest. “Cant stop thinking about a certain random cartoon character?” Dough separated into eight pieces, she greased the cooking tray and put the dough on it, spaced out correctly. “You’re going red” Qira sang quietly.
“Shut up, it’s the heat” Qira nodded, letting Keely put her half of the dough on the tray before putting the whole tray into the already-heated oven. “Besides, it’s not like you wouldn’t mind being stalked by Dei, right?”
“Go away” Burning up, Qira refused to let her friend be right, and so turned to the small area of the kitchen sink and started washing up. “I’ll wash up, you dry”
“Yes Boss”
“Call me leader and I’ll laugh- Hey! Do you think the rest can come through as well?”
“You mean like Kakuzu and Kisame and… Pein?” Qira nodded, putting the greasing tray, now cleaned, onto the draining board.
“Yeah, that would be awesome. I mean… he could be a really good head-teacher….”
“Shut up…he’d have the Akatsuki as the school council and they’d use us all for evil purposes”
“Ooooh…” Qira paused, smirking. “Evil purposes” Laughing, the bowl was left abandoned to drown in the sink whilst Qira’s laughing fit continued. Suddenly, the teacher called for everyone to stop and take out their scones whilst she ‘nipped out’. Qira took hers out, still giggling. Keely went over to hers, devastated.
“Qira…the oven’s not on…”

“I turned it on myself” Qira protested, marching over and bravely sticking her hand into the oven. “Oh…maybe I turned it off instead of on…. You can have cold scones!”
“They’re all doughy…” Pulling the doughy scones out of the oven with disgust, Keely poked one, feeling her finger sink into the doughy surface. “Eugh”
“Ladies!” Blinking rapidly, both Keely and Qira backed up slowly, as Deidara frowned whilst folding his arms over his chest. “Look, I know your uniform is ugly like, but it’s a disguise yeah” Qira laughed, barely managing to stay upright as she did so. “Qira un, you should stop that or I’ll blow up your food yeah” Offended, Qira snapped her scones away from the blonde, watching as he blinked at Keely’s. “No offence, but they look a bit pale… are they sick?”
“They don’t have a fever like mine do” Qira shook her head in pity. “They’re dead”
“Shut up” Keely hissed, embarrassed.
“I could cook them yeah!” Deidara beamed, but Keely too retreated to the back of their little corner with her scones. “Well I’m sure Itachi can…” Leaning on the table in the centre, Deidara sighed and glanced to his right. “Finally un”

“Well at least he’s not in a skirt” Keely smiled faintly. “Cause although that would be fun… I’m sure he’d be in a very bad mood” Qira nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, Deidara should have had the skirt though…”
“Will you help us now?” Itachi, grumpy as ever, folded his arms across his chest much like Deidara had before.
“Well--” Keely began.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in a lesson. One we won’t get out of unless our scones are cooked. Mine are!” She announced happily, before jerking a thumb in Keely’s direction. “Her’s aren’t…could you maybe do a discrete flame for her and cook em’?”
“He won’t use that for cooking purposes un” Deidara laughed, eyes wide when Itachi did indeed use his jutsu to lightly cook Keely’s scones. However, Deidara sneezed with a small squeak, and at that moment he bumped into Itachi who then shifted to Qira’s side and burnt her scones also.
“Asshole!” Qira dove for Deidara, grabbing the end of his hair and pulling. “Don’t sneeze again!”
“But you like my sneezes un” Qira stopped pulling, eyes wide. “You think they’re cute” Blinking, Qira laughed the truth away and returned to Keely’s side. “Hurry up and finish class yeah, we need your help!” The pair disappeared in a poof, leaving the teacher to analyse Keely’s well done scones, and frown at Qira’s unintentionally burnt ones.
“You could do better Qira” Writing something down, the teacher disappeared off and the bell rung.
“You could do better Qira” The blonde mocked, sighing and shoving the burnt scones in the bin. “Sucks to be me”
“You know you can cook things without burning them, it was Deidara’s fault” Keely tried, putting her own scones way in a box and passing one to Qira. “If I die of a heart attack – remember the scone” Laughing, Qira accepted the scone with a nod.


Break soon came around, but with the pairs’ random happenings of the day, the two were glad to finally get some air and have a drink. Moving around the school the long way, via the outside routes, they made their way up to the French classroom which they usually had break and lunch in, despite being like an oven in there, and taking out something to nourish their brains. Their usual group of friends made their way over, dropping their bags carelessly on the desk before leaning back in a ‘its-too-hot-to-bother-doing-anything’ mood. A thought occurred to Keely, and she quickly reached in her bag for an envelope, grabbing Qira and pulling her off the chair.
“You’re coming with me to the office”
“I am?” Keely nodded, already out the door with Qira trailing behind. “No need to be so bossy”
“Well I have a stalker on my tail don’t I? I’m not going on my own”
“You seriously think they’re real?” Qira mused.
“Well they looked real enough” Keely stressed, stepping down each step of the flight of stairs over exaggeratedly. “And they looked right at us! Not to mention the fact that Itachi burnt your scones”
“Are you on drugs?” Qira asked.
“No! You drank a good few gulps of that wine, so if it was just you seeing them then I wouldn’t mind. But your not. Because I am”
“So maybe we’re both infected with an unknown disease which makes us able to see cartoon characters from Naruto in the blink of an eye!” Qira blurted out, eyes wide with the thought of it being a very real possibility. Shaking her head away from the thought, she sighed hopelessly at her friend. They passed through the main hall and into the office, where they waited patiently to be assisted. “So what are you handing in?”
“The money for them textbook things” Sighing, Keely handed the envelope to the reception lady and turned with Qira towards the hall.

Quiet in thought, the two wandered slightly too far, finding themselves near some lockers.
“How did we do that?” Qira mused, turning and starting to head back the way they came
“Don’t move”
“You two again?” Keely sighed, following Itachi’s motion to move closer obediently.
“We still need your help” Itachi repeated.
“If you don’t help us yeah, then this world will surely suffer the consequences of a catastrophic apocalypse which will end all life, not including ours, here on Earth un”
“Evvvil” Qira mumbled near Keely, chuckling slightly as her friend went red.
“Shut up”
“Listen yeah!” Deidara urged.
“Okay okay” Qira nodded, stood to attention. “Fire away, what do you need us for?” A yell broke out, ending the conversation there.
“Damnit! Hidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!”
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckk!!” Crashing into the wall, Hidan quickly recovered and hid behind Itachi, who was growing increasingly impatient with all the interruptions.
“Hidan, remove yourself from my ‘bubble’”
“You have a bubble now? A personal fucking space?” Hidan laughed loudly, screaming in Itachi’s ear as Sasori rounded the corner. “Fuuuuuck!!” He cried.
“You stupid toad!” Sasori yelled. Keely laughed, moving slightly to her right to let Sasori at Hidan. “You can’t just skip through like this! It’s their mission, you have no right to-”
“What I want I will get, you don’t even tame yours!”
“I look after mine just as you would your freakin’ God!”
“Oh yeaahhh” Hidan was suddenly thrown against the wall again, Itachi recovered from the throw, quickly checking his hair before straightening out his uniform.
“Ignore them. We really do need your help-”
“Danna? You said I can do this one alone yeah” Deidara whined, moving over to the red head slowly.
“I am! I’m observing!” Sasori protested. “Besides, Pein wanted Hidan back because he’s too much of a threat to their world…so…I came to take him back”
“You wanted to see them yeah” Deidara stomped childishly.
“Konan would have come but she didn’t want to leave Pein! The only way Pein’d ever come here would be if they refused to help us” Sticking his tongue out, Deidara backed up towards Itachi, turning to Keely and Qira.
“Okay, here’s the deal. You-”
Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!
“DAMNIT!”


Lesson 3: Science
The whole school was feeling a little over the weather, the sun blaring its heated global warming-i-fied rays to overheat the inhabitants of the suffering planet called Earth. All in all, it sucked.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap
“Penguin…” Qira mumbled, eyeing the science teacher with a careful eye. “She waddles” She concluded with a faint nod. The biro in between her fingers hit the desk again, continuing the annoying tapping. Keely mumbled, leaning forwards and sighing.
“I don’t know…as penguin-y as she looks… she’s more like a camel”
“How’d you work that?” Qira whispered, frowning as she tried to picture the short stocky science teacher as a camel. “She’s not even tall”
“She spits” Keely chuckled, sighing and turning with a bored look towards the door as the funny moment was left to die. How it would be so much fun to just run out of the classroom, no yelling, no demands to ‘get back in your seat’, just run. “Do you get balancing equations?”
“No…you?”
“I did until she rabbited on with that stuff” Keely indicated to the equation on the board, which had changed in a way she didn’t understand. “This sucks…”
“Tell me about it” Qira sighed. “I’m not even going to try. I’m getting a B and I wont use them again so they can die for all I-” POOF!
“Qira?!” Whispering with her eyes wide, Keely turned to the front rapidly, already aware that her friend wasn’t where she was seconds ago. “What the--” POOF!


Qira…
“—care…” Blinking, Qira remained frozen to the spot, blinking rapidly at the black space in front of her, the red vertical line down and the distinctive red and white clouds indicating it was either Itachi or Deidara. Maybe the other two… but most likely not. She stepped back slightly to see the taller being in front of her. “…Hi…” She said, confusion written all over her face. The other stepped back also, his face straight and stoic, his onyx hair falling over his face slightly as he looked down at her. The small light that hung from the ceiling allowed her to see this.
“Hello” Finally being able to move, she turned around in a full circle, trying to figure out where they were. ’Let’s see, there’s four walls, a bucket, a mop, a brush, mmmmm….disinfectant…’
“We’re in the janitor’s closet aren’t we?” She asked Itachi hesitantly, getting a stiff now back. “Why the closet?” She sighed to herself. “Why is it always the closet, bad things happen in closets—Why exactly are we in a closet? Where’s Keely?” Itachi coughed slightly to clear his throat.
“She’s safe with Deidara” Qira blinked, nodding slightly. She felt weird being stuck in a closet with Itachi. It was one thing to be stuck in a closet with any guy. But now she was stuck in there with Itachi? Who could kill her? Not only that, but Itachi –she knew- was Keely’s fandom. Qira knew that her friend would be quite happy, despite most likely almost dying, to be stuck in a closet with Itachi.
“So…are we here to talk about how to save the world again?” She asked, suddenly getting a massive and completely out of character grin from Itachi.
“Yeah un!” All eyes widened, as Itachi stepped back with his hand clamped over his mouth. “Oh shit yeah…”
“Deidara?” Itachi laughed, and it was weird to watch. Itachi sighed hopelessly, quickly doing a hand sign. Choking the smoke out of her respiratory system, Qira backed up slightly only to see Deidara stood before her. “I knew that” She huffed.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that yeah…you weren’t supposed to find out until we parted un”
“Well it’s hard when you have a freakin’ speech impediement like that” Qira laughed. “How can you and Itachi swap places?! You’re bi-polar opposites!” Deidara’s eyebrows raised as he shrugged and Qira sighed. “So…now what?”
“We still talk un-”
“Wait- If you’re here pretending to be Itachi…does that mean that Itachi’s with Keely…pretending to be you?” Deidara looked confused for a moment, before nodding surely.
“Yeah un!” He grinned.

Qira’s eyes went wide with shock. Her heart raced as little images of her friend’s grave appeared in her head.
“She won’t survive!” She gasped. “Oh no, oh no, oh no!” Moving in circles, she found the door quickly with her frantic hands, opening it.
“No, don’t un” The door shut, or more accurately was pulled backwards by Deidara. He locked it shut from the inside, and spun Qira to face him. “She’ll be fine un”
“No she wont, she’ll have a panic attack”” Qira shook her head, concerned for the very life of her best friend.
“Does she really suffer from panic attacks yeah?”
“Not that I’m actually aware of, but that’s not the point! S-she can’t be alone with him!”
“She’s a responsible young lady yeah, like you, and with Itachi, she’ll be safe un”
“Oh-ho-ho-ho…you don’t know Keely when she gets nervously insane!” Qira panicked.
“No I don’t un, but I’m sure Itachi won’t kill her, so it’s safe to say she’ll be fine for now un”
“But-”
“Will you shut up yeah?” Qira bit her lip shut. “She’ll be fine. Itachi’ll pretend to be me and she won’t find out so she won’t panic yeah!”
“But when she does she will cause she likes him!” Qira explained, suddenly frowning and biting her lip. “No…I wasn’t supposed to tell you that”
“Keely likes Itachi yeah?”
“Yeah” Qira nodded. “A lot of people like him, but Keely like-like’s him…But you can’t tell him that. Keely has to tell him”
“Well if she wants him she can have him yeah, because Kisame and him had a huge fight a couple of days ago un… I don’t think they’re talking anyway yeah”
“So … you’re all really coupled up?”
“It was all Pein’s fault yeah!” Deidara defended, looking as if he’d just been caught robbing a bank. “If he hadn’t got together with Konan-chan then we wouldn’t have realised we could all still love – as cheesy as that sounds. And being the only people we really socialised with yeah, we sort of … yeah”
“But they’ve known each other since childhood” Qira pointed out. “They grew up together”
“Keely likes Itachi un?” Deidara repeated, laughing quietly. “Tell me more yeah!”
“In a minute-… but first, can I do something?” She asked hesitantly. Bribery was goooood.

“I think it’s a free world for now un” Deidara nodded and sighed. “Why? What is it yeah?” Smiling even more, Qira took a step forwards, clearing her throat and looking up.
“I know you and Sasori are like… partners - in more than one way – but… he cant—I mean it’s not like--… basically he cant keep you to himself, right?” She blurted, frowning.
“What do you mean yeah? Danna’s my b-”
“Shh! Shh- don’t say the B-friend word”
“Boyfriend un”
“Asshole--!~” Suddenly finding herself pressed against the wall of the janitors closet, Qira stepped to the side slightly to balance herself, only to place her foot in the bucket.
“Mind the bucket yeah” Looking up again to supposedly glare at the blonde, she found she couldn’t when the lights suddenly flickered off, Deidara’s hand touching her cheek ever so lightly. “I can’t have you dead un”
“Like I’d die from stepping in a bucket” Qira rolled her eyes at the comment.
“You never know un” His hand moved slowly down her neck, then round the back as he tilted her head back carefully.
“You have a B-friend” Qira explained. “In all cases, this is cheating”
“It’s not un!” The tone of voice that was used clearly stated that the blonde was offended, but with a roll of the eyes, the matter was excused. “Because this is work. And we clearly made a definite deal that work and love-life will be separate”
“So I’m now ‘work-related’ business”
“Totally yeah”
“Right”
“See un?”
“Yeah”
“Good”
“Okay”
“That means I can kiss you yeah”
“What?!”


Keely…
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“You can stop staring now…” Keely blinked at the blank comment, still confused as to where Deidara went. She was about to ask. “I refuse to play the part of that imbecilic blonde”
“…So you pretended to be Deidara…but you’re really…you?”
“Hn”
“So does that mean that Deidara’s pretending to be you…with Qira?”
“Hn. Only she wont know that. As far as you’re concerned the plan still went ahead, and I didn’t reveal myself as so” Keely nodded numbly. As good as it was to be locked in an empty classroom with Itachi, he was actually rather rude compared to all the things she’d seen and read about him.
“Now what…” She asked, sighing and sitting on the nearest table with a bored look on her face. At that moment in time, she was considering breaking her way back into that boring science class.
“Do you like lollipops?”  Keely shrugged at the random question.
“Depends what flavour…”
“I don’t like the lime ones. Kisame has them”
“Nice to know” Awwwwkkkkkkwwwwwaaaarrrrrddddd. Very Awkward. “You seem more depressed than usual” Keely admitted.
“I’m not depressed normally” Itachi denied, leaning back on a table side and folding his arms over his chest. Keely nodded, biting her lip and looking away; the thought of what Qira and Deidara would be up to made her head hurt, so she stood to leave. What was the point in sitting in a room with a guy that was more depressed than normal, and was in denial about it? She’d realised that there was no way he’d go all ‘la-di-da’ on her, and start jumping around like a hyper blonde, but still. Heading towards the door, she jolted to a halt as her wrist was caught.

“Where are you going?”
“Back to class”
“But we need your help”
“You haven’t said with what yet” Keely broke free of his grasp, fiddling with her bag strap. ’I bet Qira will be having more fun than this’
“Your scones…”
“You need our help with my scones?”
“No” Itachi actually rolled his eyes, leaning off the table and indicating to her bag. “How are they?” Keely blinked, turning to her bag and taking out the box of scones. She handed them to him and he took one out carefully. “Did you poison them?” Keely shook her head, her heart thudding against her chest. “…you have one” Taking one out for herself, Keely eyed it carefully before taking a bite. Admittedly, they were rather good.
“They’re better with butter” She admitted, after swallowing a chunk. Itachi blinked, putting the scone aside. “Didn’t you like it?”
“They were very good … but Kisame always had his with butter…”
“Do you miss him…being here?” Itachi smirked, tossing the scone into the bin perfectly and sitting on the nearest table.
“No”
“You talk like you do”
“Well I don’t. If he wants to do stuff without asking then I wont miss him. I wont think about him or talk about him” Was Itachi…sulking? Keely almost laughed at the thought. “What?”
“Did you and Kisame by any chance have an argument?”
“…”
“…”
“Hn…”
“Want to talk?” Keely chuckled softly to herself, surprised when Itachi let another ‘hn’ escape his lips. “Okay…just babble”
“Babble?”
“Talk”
“… He actually hates sushi?” Keely laughed and nodded.
“Carry on”
“But he’ll always take mine and eat it to annoy me” Keely nodded with encouragement, the time alone with Itachi suddenly not seeming so bad.

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